Wednesday, January 14, 2009

His Fears ~ Chapter 8

Today, I am going to answer questions from the accompanying work book for The Power of a Praying Wife.

1. List any fears you know your husband has. Do you share any of those fears? Why? Failing, not being good enough, looking weak, being weak - I guess the only one I really identify with is not being good enough, but only in our relationship. I don't worry about not being a good wife, but I do worry about his perception. You know, the grass always looks greener on the other side. I really believe that Mr B could have been married to Angelina Jolie and he still would have cheated. I guess that's the scary part.

2. Ask your husband if there are any fears that he has that he would like you to pray specifically for. Are there any that he mentioned that was not in your list from question 1, or that you weren't aware of? Failure, God, Losing My Family

3. How have your husbands fears affected you? Failure - This one has affected me by him not balancing his work life and his home life. He wants to badly to be successful, that he doesn't have boundaries for work.
Losing My Family - I think this affects me in a good way because he works harder and puts in an effort that I don't think he saw as being necessary before. Although I don't want him to think that I could leave for any infraction, I think its good that he knows he needs to stay on the straight and narrow as much as possible, that messing up to that magnitude again is not worth the price.

4. Read 1John 4:18 in your Bible. What takes away fear? Love...can I say that I don't get this verse? Only perfect love comes from God right? So since Mr B will never give perfect love, will I always fear? I didn't fear before, but now I do and his love wasn't perfect back then either.

5. Who is the only one in the universe who has perfect love? Who should you pray will penetrate your husband's life? God. Thank goodness for that! Without God, I feel like our relationship would be so empty. Of course I would have stayed, mostly for the kids, but with God involved and loving us with His perfect love, we have only become stronger.

6. Read Psalm 27:1 When God is you strength, of whom should you be afraid? No one. I know this is easy to comprehend in my head, but my heart has trouble with it. Its so hard to wrap your mind around. God is invisible and even though I KNOW through faith He is real, its still hard to never be afraid. I know He has my best interest. I know He has the best path for me...I know these things in my head. But when something comes along, like a social worker, it is hard not to be afraid. I guess its overcoming the "flesh" or human side of yourself and asking God to give you divine peace.

7. Read Psalm 34:4 in your Bible. In light of this Scripture how could you pray for your husband so that he would be set free from fear? Seeking after the Lord. Truthfully, what does that mean? I am looking for answers through the Bible. Going to church and diligently paying attention and spending time in prayer, having an open dialogue with God. Is that what it means to "seek" the Lord?

This chapter really was a loop back to the chapter of His Mind. I feel like his fears are irrational and only due to the false thoughts he has. Its not as if he is in a trailer with a tornado heading straight towards him...that would be real fear, but he fears baseless thoughts that aren't rooted in reality. Not being good enough at work - Mr B got home from work around 9.30 last night, went back in for a meeting at 6.30 this morning and won't get off until 9.30 tonight. His numbers are number one in the company and he is a tremendous leader. I don't see why these thoughts affect him, but maybe he works so hard because he is always trying to prove himself. When we were in counseling, the counselor asked Mr B if he thought of himself as a failure, because he couldn't keep up with the impossible demands at work which led him to drink. Mr B said yes. The counselor then asked, if you aren't naturally good at something, does that make you a failure. Mr B said yes. The counselor then said, well, I have never learned to ice skate, therefore, I am not good at it. Does that make me a failure? Mr B said, "Yes. If you can't succeed at something, no matter what it is, you are a failure.". Instead of looking at his accomplishments, the enemy has gotten him to focus on the things that he can't succeed at. Besides praying, how can I turn this around? I am going to praise him more often...he doesn't hardly get any of that at work, but that is another issue. The enemy really has a hold on his mind. I hate that. He is so sneaky.


Nutty mom-- said...

does he ever play games with Belle? Does he let her win? If so, does that make him a failure?

Ang said...

Your posts keep getting better and better! I deal with the 'failure' thing as a mother alot. Just as soon as I think I am doing things right, then I realize how inadequate I am...which I struggle alot with...Keep these posts help in more ways than one!!