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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bad Date

Mama Kat says: "Tell us about a memorable blind date." Here goes.


Is it sad that my most memerable blind date was being the third wheel on my best friend's sort-of blind date?

My best friend and I were 21, living together in an apartment, boyfriend free (Mr B and I were on a "break") and having the time of our lives. After about 6 weeks of livin' it up single, we decided we didn't like being alone...Hello Match.com.

Now, there are strict rules about Match.com:

  1. Always get a good close up picture
  2. Always talk on the phone before you meet
  3. Always meet in a public place
  4. All first dates must be accompanied by the best friend...at least if he's an ax murderer, we would both die together...

So my girl Smamy (as I call her) had met a fella online. No matter how many times I warned her, she never listened to rule number 1. You would think after a few 'fugly' dates, she would understand, but she's a sucker for the romantic crap guys write, so she always gave the benefit of the doubt. Rule number 2, she was very good at. The new fella she was talking to, she was seeming to really fall for. So the date was set. We would meet for dinner at Carabas...all three of us of course.

Naturally Smamy and I would ride together since we lived together. When we got there, shock number one...you know the guy you see in the grocery store buying Cheetos who look like they only emerge from there mothers basement after playing hours of World of Warcraft, just to get the snack she made for him...yeah, his name is Steve and he was meeting my best friend for dinner. Smamy is a very kind person, so instead of my idea (Run before he notices you...) she calmly went and said hello.

We sat down at the table and like all the dates we had been together in the past, I started asking questions. Nothing mean, but just get to know you questions. Where are you from? What do you do? When are you moving out of your mother's house? You know questions like that. Oh! Did I forget to mention that he had just gotten out of the armed service...I think he was telling the truth, but those gangly arms were screaming something different.

At one point, I get up to go to the bathroom and Steve starts begging Smamy to ditch me. He says I talk to much (who me?) and that he doesn't feel like things are going the way he wants them to. Of course she says no, so he suggests they take me home and then she go to his house...

I come back, the check comes, and he makes Smamy and I pay for our own meals. Now let me say this, every other date we had been on, the guy always paid for my meal. I mean come on, he is trying to sleep with my best friend and of course he knows my approval is necessary...even though we aren't those kinds of girls.

So Smamy is looking at me like, "Get me out of here". We get up to leave and Steve asks if he can see her again. She politely tells him she will call and off we go. When we get on the free way, Sergent Steve calls. Tells her he really thinks she could be the one. Could he come over? He just knows that if he could see her, he could make her understand. He could make her so happy. She had to talk to him for several hours to tell him she didn't want to see him again...and he cried.

I wonder where he is now?

20 comments:

Young Momma said...

Blind dates just don't sound good!!! Ever! lol Cute blog!

blueviolet said...

He cried? He didn't even know her. That's wacky.

Ang said...

Oh that is too funny!!!!!! (it probably wasn't at the time but to hear you tell it now it is..:) I have only had a couple blind dates and when I was 19 a girl I worked with said 'oh you have got to out with my boyfriends friend'. So I am thinking, this is a nice girl, around my age..can't be that bad, we all 4 would be together...we get to the place we were going to eat...and God is my witness the guy had to be 45..needless to say...we ate, exchanged a few words and I flew to my car and took the LONG way home in case he was following :)

Haley Nicodemus said...

How uncomfortable! And I can't believe he cried!

Tricia said...

Have you ever heard the song "so much cooler online"? LMAO. Sorry but gosh that was funny. and for Young Momma up top.. my blind date went so well.. well I married him :oP lol. ok not that night.. it was a few years, a possible background check, and a credit check later (kidding.. promise)

Kitty said...

SO Funny! "fugly"! LOL! I'm glad you were there for her! I would have been with you on the "lets get out of here before he spots us" though!

Tabi said...

That's really kinda creepy!! Glad she ditched him quick!

Debbie said...

I think I saw him on America's Most Wanted, didn't I?

ash said...

that is an absolute trip!

Kelly said...

He is probably still living in his mom's basement wearing her clothes!

namaste said...

Great description... I totally got the guy you met up with. I think I saw him at the store last night actually!

Jenn said...

Oh boy! Great story. I've been there, though I didn't have a great friend like you with me, lol!

Something In The Glass said...

That's a great story - I laughed out loud at the description of the guy and the "his name is Steve." Love your blog, and thanks for coming by my blog today.

Nutty mom-- said...

Mwa ha ha.....this is steve and I've been watching you..... :)

Serenity said...

that story is hilarious..I guess blind dates never turn out right..lol. thanks for sharing, I thought his crying was even funnier what a way to end a date!

anti-supermom said...

Visiting you from Mama Kat - I can't believe he cried - what a funny, FUNNY story.

I'm betting he's in prison or has a very manly wife :)

SCREAMING FOR CHOCOLATE said...

Sca-ry... Big time. And you called me a saint. Whew.

Coco

Julie said...

Yikes! that is totally creepy! Its a good thing that you are such a good friend!

Lacey said...

Ack! And yuck! And ack! Desperation... ew ew ew. Thank God you were there for back up. Great story!

CJ said...

Creepy!