Monday, December 1, 2008

Emotional Rollercoaster

The last few days have been HARD. If you don't know, last year my husband had an affair...what I haven't told you was that a little boy was created from it.

Deep breath...I always felt that Mr B had to be there for this little boy. I pushed for it. I made him call her. I made him go to the doctor's office with her. The relationship between Mr B and his son was pulled together because I was the one who knew it was the right thing to do, despite the pain it caused me.

I have a hard time seeing his mother when we pick him up...a flood of emotion builds and I have to stuff it down and ask my dear Lord for grace in that moment. I know this little boy has no fault in this situation. I make myself hold him, kiss him and do all the things I do with my own children. He seems a little emotionally detached...he is 10 months old, never smiles, never laughs, barely crawls. His mother has him sleep in a swing. I know this because she wanted to make sure we had one for him to nap in...I feel so sad for him. I think, "God put him in a hard spot, but at least I can love least he will know real attention."

Yesterday that all ended. You see, we had him on Saturday in our home for eight hours. Saturday night she calls and says he has scratches and a bruise on his thigh. Mr B says he has no idea how they got there. This little boy cries whenever you set him down, so we either held him or he was sitting on the couch with us the entire time he was here. Mr B and his momma talk for several hours and she tells him over and over she thinks I am abusing him out of vengence for her. I was appalled and angry.

Sunday, she took him to a local childrens emergency room for the "abuse". She tells us that the doctors have confirmed the bruise is consistent with being grabbed. We are now being investigated by SRS for child abuse.

When I found this out, I hit the roof. How could this women invade my marriage and now have the nerve to threaten us with this? All I could think was they were going to take my children away. I have nothing to hide. We do not abuse. We do not hit out of anger...but I have heard so many horror stories.

I told Mr B, "Thats it! I am not seeing that boy again. If I don't see him, she can't accuse me of such things. You can see him at your mother's house so she can be a witness." I know it seems harsh, but I can't put my own children at risk for this one. I am afraid anytime he has a bruise, she will take him to the ER and there will be a long laundry list of things and they will deem us unfit. No way, this is not going to happen. The worst part is, this little boy is being deprived from a real family due to his mother's anger. Its nasty all the way around.

All I can do now is put this in God's hands. I am innocent and I know good will prevail...please pray.


jenn said...

I am so sorry. You are a good mom and a strong woman. She has no idea the love she is taking away from this little boy. Let God hold you during this awful time.

Kendra said...

Hi...I just saw your comment on Angie's blog. I am so, so, sorry. I will be praying for you. I hope that the truth is revealed, and that God grants you with peace in the midst of all this chaos...

Ang said...

Hi, I know you don't me, but we know the same GOD!! I found you thru ramblings..hope you don't mind the post..I will be praying for your family!