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Monday, February 16, 2009

She Strikes Again

So this weekend was full of strife and anger...let me start out at the beginning.

Friday - The Other and Mr B agreed in the court documents that on even filing years, she would get to claim the baby and on odd claiming years, Mr B would get to claim the baby. If for any reason, the credit could not be used, it would go to the other. Well, the other lives at home with her father and from court documents I can see that she claims 98 on her W2 as to not have to pay taxes. So I told Mr B to ask her for the credit since I don't even think she will file and if she does, the credit won't even help...let me also say that she does have an older son (2 I think) and she gets that credit too as she hasn't gone after that father for child support. Well, she won't let him have it. We suspect her father will be claiming all three of them which is against the court order, but how can we prove it?

Later that day when I go to get the mail, we get a letter from the Kansas Department of Revenue stating they will be taking back child support out of our refund. Now let me say that dead beat dads should have money taken from them, but Mr B couldn't even get a hold of her. She wouldn't let him see the baby and Mr B and I did offer any support and told her to call whenever she needed something. When he was first born, she would set up a time for us to see him and then just not show up. After about six weeks, she just stopped taking Mr B's calls. So in July (the day before I gave birth) we got a letter saying she was going after child support and wanted back child support. We pay an extra $50 a month to pay down that debt, but she wants it all now.

Saturday...we have him for the day and she is supposed to pick him up by 5. Mr B texts the other and asks if we can keep him for just a little longer. She says that's fine. Mr B and I have plans to have dinner later that evening, 7.30ish, and when Mr B texts her back later, no reply. He calls her, no answer. 9.00 - No answer. 10.00 - No answer. She just doesn't come to get him. Last time Mr B and I had a date, she did the same thing. She finally called from a club at 1 AM and left a message. She came and picked him up at noon the next day.

So I asked Mr B what her problem was and he said that she just doesn't like me. Why? It's not like I slept with her husband. He says that whenever he is around, she starts acting all giggly...kind of flirty. So I have decided, he sees her no more without me. The hurt has gone and the anger has taken its place. No way will she come between us again. I am actually thinking of sitting down and talking to her. Telling her that we need to be adults for this baby and any fantasies of hers needs to stop.

Sunday...at church pastor talked about love. How love heals. How sometimes we don't love because it makes us vulnerable. Love is God and we must love others. That the other is completely loved by God and so I should love her too. Wow...that was tough stuff. Mr B and I were talking about it afterwards and I just told him that I need to marinate in the whole idea for a while. How do I love her? I can say I do all day long, but I don't. I know it. I wouldn't lie down my life for her...I would probably push her in front of the bus...ok, maybe not...maybe. So if you don't mind, I may post some stuff about it as I go along.

Sorry its taken so long for me to post. Its been busy and I am a bit of a mess...to tell you the truth, on Saturday, I asked Chris for a little white pill. But, when it came time, I didn't' take it. I know I am stronger than I think.

9 comments:

Tricia said...

my ex husbands other was my best friend.. and i could not look at her after what happened. the fact that you are remotely even trying to talk to her tells me you are an amazing awesome woman. Love you back

Khadra said...

Im sorry you have to endure this. I hope this gets easier for you.

Ang said...

I am so mad/angry/upset/ right now I can't see straight...I know it's not the Godly emotion I should have..I know that..but I hurt for you, your husband & mostly your children. I know that I am human but I am tired of the hurt you are enduring. I know that God is bigger than this whole situation and I have told you many times, that God will reward your faithfulness!! Your strength will surface one day in your children and you will know then that God heard your prayers.I love ya!!!

mnmtatgirl said...

My XH cheated on me.. and she did the I'm pregnant thing on us.. thankfully she wasn't. Had she been, though, I would have walked away much sooner than I did.

I think you are strong, much stronger than I could ever be. For you to encourage a relationship between your kids and the baby, is amazing to me.

I confronted the other woman in my case. She hadn't made vowes to me and entered into a contract with me. He did. I still hated the @#(#&*@ woman.
And it would be over my dead body that he would ever see her alone ever.

mnmtatgirl said...

Oh, and I'm glad to see everyone's okay... that you were just busy with life :)

ash said...

I am sorry you are having to go through all this trouble and tribulation.

continue to ask for guidance while keeping your head held high. that is all you can do!

Daberath said...

Thinking of you today. Sorry you are facing all these problems that you in no way created. I am praying for your piece of mind and for strength as you deal with this situation the best you know how.

Ang said...

Hey I know this is the 'post' I need to post this on..but I was already here..remember a while back you got a lower interest rate on your credit card? well it's 2:15 in the morning as I write this, spent 3 hours on the phone with them and got 3 credit cards reduced to 0% until 2/10..WAS so excited..all because of you....now since you are my friend...can you just go ahead and pay them off now?..no interest will acrue on them for a while?..ha cheer you up?..hope so loveya girl!!

Ang said...

Hey I know this is the 'post' I need to post this on..but I was already here..remember a while back you got a lower interest rate on your credit card? well it's 2:15 in the morning as I write this, spent 3 hours on the phone with them and got 3 credit cards reduced to 0% until 2/10..WAS so excited..all because of you....now since you are my friend...can you just go ahead and pay them off now?..no interest will acrue on them for a while?..ha cheer you up?..hope so loveya girl!!