Friday, February 6, 2009

His Past ~ Chapter 19

1. Is there anything in your husband's past that repeatedly torments him? Describe. Not really. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't move on as fast as he does. Of course he wishes the affairs hadn't happened, but he moves forward. I am somewhat still stuck there and when I have a bad day, he sometimes seems miffed I still think about it. He is great about letting me grieve, but I think sometimes he wonders why I don't just get over it already. - You know, there is something that used to bother him. When I was a senior in high school, he had a sort of nervous breakdown. His family has a history of chemical imbalance and the teenage years is when it blossoms. He ended up having to stay for a few weeks in a mental hospital. He got on medication, but a few years later, declared himself fine and went off them. He felt weak having to be on them. When we were first married, I noticed his moods and what I thought to be depression. I pushed him to go see a doctor, but hating his stay in the hospital years before, he refused. I really believe if he would have dealt with it then, he wouldn't have turned to alcohol to self medicate and the affairs wouldn't have happened. He has realized his weaknesses and one of my conditions on working on the marriage was that he get back to the doctor and start meds. Life is totally different.

2. Is your husbands past something he learns from, something he ignores, or does he live in it? He is learning to learn from it. I feel like he is really trying to grow.

3. Phil 3:13-14 Do you feel your husband reaches out for all God has for him? No. But I think he is moving in that direction, trying to grow into the man God wants him to be.

4. Are you afraid there is anything from your husband's past that could be passed to your children? No. We work on living for today and the future, especially for our kids.

5. Was there anything in his childhood that is affecting him today? No. He had a pretty good childhood.

6. Was he ever labeled with hurtful names that he still uses to color his image of himself? No, he was pretty popular. I don't think he has ever had a poor self image.

1 comment:

Ang said...

That post really hit home with me. My Father in law was an alcoholic. He was one of the sweetest people that you would ever meet in your life. If this makes 'any' sense he was a 'nice' drunk. He always stayed at home, (was more nasty obviously when he got plastered) but he passed away in '91, 3 months after Whitney was born. I can remember when Charlie and I married in 1988 (gosh that seems like a long time ago..ha) but We had this conversation over and over...He drank socially with his friends out of high school but I didn't meet him until he was 25 and once I found out his daddy's history, knowing stuff like that can be heriditary, that was one of the first times in our marriage that I sat my foot down. I basically said it's alcohol or me, can't be both and with your daddy's history, I don't want it to destroy you or eventually our family/children. To this day he has never drank another drop. You keep that Faith!!!!! You are awesome!!!