Monday, April 13, 2009

Big Changes

I work from home. At the end of last year, my hours were cut down to 5/week. After depleting our savings, we had to sell our second vehicle. No big deal, except on Saturdays. Every Saturday morning, we have to make arrangements for Mr B's parents (who live 45 minutes away) to meet us at the other's house to pick up the baby, so we will have enough car seats (4 total).

This past Saturday, we went to pick up the baby. The Other informed Mr B that if he wanted, he could keep him late. Red flag anyone? Mr B said ok and we proceeded to get into the car. As we drove off, I said "You know she won't pick him up at all, right? She's going to say you agreed to keep him and make you look irresponsible." Mr B shot me an irritated look and said that he would confirm with her what time she would pick him up. We headed over to his parents house and when we got there, he texts her and asked her to be there at 6 (usual pick up time is 5) and she agreed.

Later that evening (around 5:30) Mr B receives a text saying that she loaned her car to her cousin and he would need to drive 45 minutes (in the opposite direction of our house) to drop him off. Mr B texts back saying "Why would you be so irresponsible as to loan your car out when you knew you had to pick up your son? You need to find a way to get here." She replies back that our lawyer said that she didn't have a car and we would be willing to do the pick ups and drop offs. Why won't he help her out? Just a note - after our judge made that comment, she adamantly pleaded saying she did have a car and would be able to make the drop offs. Mr B says that the court order says they have a joint responsibility and one is to pick up and one is to drop off. He then asks her "Are you going to break that order?" She replies she is on her way.
When she shows up in her car she has brought with her all her friends who are seemingly dressed to go clubbing. Surprise, surprise right? Mr B makes sure there is no alcohol on her breath and that he has a car seat. Last time she had a family member hold him in her lap. I was beyond livid.

The next morning, Mr B goes to pick him up (we borrowed his parents car and returned it after church when we went there for Easter) and she gave him a hard time about him wanting a diaper bag. Can you imagine a mother not wanting to send her son out with his essentials? Mr B and I pay for those...its not even like we are asking her to pay for it. Anyway, he tells her again, it is in the court agreement...are you going to break it? About this time, a unidentified twenty something guy walks in...looking like he just woke up.

Mr B brings the baby to church where we work the nursery. The baby is in the nursery room with us and another adult. He doesn't want to play, in fact he cries to any adult who comes in the room. He wants to be picked up by anyone. The kids seemed scary to him, even though we never left the room.

After she came and picked him up, Mr B and I were just heart broken. I hate sending him back to her and after this weekend, I just feel more and more sick that he is there. He doesn't talk, doesn't play, doesn't smile, and doesn't understand kisses. We had a long discussion about it and have agreed that the best thing for him would be to be at our house as much as possible. We are hoping that if we "offer" to make things easier on her and take him during the week, she will go for it.

So I am asking that you please pray for us. That this situation is dealt with swiftly and the baby makes a good adjustment. That all issues and details surrounding bringing this child home would be figured out quickly.

I think for the first time, I can say with all honesty that I have real love for this little boy. My heart is breaking just thinking about him. I wish he was here.


Tricia said...

There is a special place in Heaven for people like you Mrs B. You are awesome!! I will pray that everything goes great!! Love ya and miss ya!!

jill said...

what an awesome woman you are, my friend. i am SO proud of you! that baby boy deserves someone like you to love him. :)

jenn said...

I am praying for you,for your family, expecially this little man. I pray that there is an amazing speed to this process so this little guy can be surrounded by all the love he could ever dream of.

Ang said...

Oh Sweetie..what a heart you and Mr. B have. I have said all along, God will reward your faithfulness. How blessed this little boy is to have you and Mr. B & your children in his life!!! love ya girl!! Posted prom pictures of Whitney..since mine is private won't show updates...

Daberath said...

Wow Mrs. B you have the heart of a saint! I can't imagine what it took to get you where you are, but you are walking this path with much dignity. I hope everything works out the best for your family and this little boy. It is obvious he tolds a special place in your heart. He needs you so. He needs stability and love in his life and I think you and your family needs to be the ones giving those things. Love and prayers sweet friend.

Liz Blalock said...

Mrs. B, I'm so proud of you and the love of Christ that you show to all those around you. Your love for the Lord is evident in how you have handled this situation and the love you have for your husband and for this precious baby. The Lord is using you in a powerful way. Your vulnerability is refreshing.

Ang said...

Hey hope you are doing okay! I haven't heard from you and getting a little worried..and after you read my blog...I DON'T NEED TO WORRY:) let me know you are okay!! love ya girl!