Here's my recipe for the Showdown:

Chicken Enchilada Casserole

Ingredients
3-4 chicken breasts (or 6 Halves)
1 (10 ounce) can cream of mushroom soup
1 (10 ounce) can cream of chicken soup
1 (8 ounce) can diced green chilies (hot or mild, or a small can of each)
1 (10 ounce) package cheddar cheese grated
1 small onion, diced
1 tablespoon oregano
1 tablespoon garlic poweder
1 teaspoon salt
12 corn tortillas or flour tortillas (I tear them up for easier serving)
16 ounces sour cream

optional: 1 Chipolte with sauce, diced

Directions
1. Place Chicken in large saucepan and cover with water.
2. Sprinkle in oregano, add garlic powder and salt.
3. Boil about 20 minutes and shred from bones.
4. Save broth.
5. Mix soups, sour cream, onion & chiles in large pan (and chipolte if desired).
6. Add only enough broth to slightly thin.
7. Re-season as needed.
8. Simmer on low 15 minutes.
9. Add chicken.
10. In casserole dish, arrange 6 Tortillas flat across bottom, spoon in 1/2 the sauce, sprinkle 1/2 the cheese.
11. Repeat- Tortillas, sauce and cheese.
12. Bake in 350 degree oven for 20 minutes.

Seven Months

Marcus

Raef

Belle

Two Things You Never Talk About

Well today, I am talking about one because the more I find out about it, the angrier I get.

I want to start out by saying I didn't vote for Obama. I did vote for McCain, but was extremely unhappy about it. I am not a republican, but a conservative. I believe in personal responsibility and as a Christian I believe that you must love your neighbor as yourself.

Did you know Congress just gave themselves an extra $93,000 for petty cash EACH?!? Did you know Congress just got an automatic raise? They each make $174,000/ year for a three day work week?

So onto this stimulus bill, again, nonpartisan because I didn't like it when Bush did it either, but the more I learn, the more heated I become. So here are a few facts:

• Did you know the stimulus bill will only put 3% of the total cost into the economy this year? How does 3% stimulate an economy?*
• Did you know the stimulus bill has set aside $1 billion for Amtrak? This is a federal railroad that hasn't turned a profit in 40 years.*
• Did you know the stimulus bill gives ACORN, which is under investigation in more than a dozen states, $4.9 billion in this bill?*

Do you know how much 787 billion is? If you counted 1 second for every $1, it would take you 31 years, 251 days, 7 hours, 46 minutes, and 39 seconds to count to ONE billion. Now multiply that by 787. It would take over 25,000 years. So here we are, borrowing this money to "stimulate" the economy, but what we are really doing is robbing our children and their children for generations to come.

I am by no means rich. We live paycheck to paycheck, but I don't ever expect the government to swoop in and save me.

People say, "Oh but giving a little bit of my money to help the poor is ok with me." But did you know:

• The bottom 50% of Americans pay 3% of all income tax. **
• Bottom 40% pay NOTHING **
• The top 5% of Americans paid 60% of all income tax.**
• The top 1% make 21% of the total adjusted gross income, but pay 40% of the entire tax burden**

The problem is, we aren't GIVING our money, it's being stolen. I hate my money being given taken by the government. They are so wasteful and most politicians don't care about a cause unless it helps their campaign in some way.

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it." ~ The late Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931 - 2005

Buried in the Department of the Treasury’s 2003 Financial Report of the United States Government is a short section titled “Unreconciled Transactions Affecting the Change in Net Position,” which explains that these unreconciled transactions totaled $24.5 billion in 2003. The unreconciled transactions are funds for which auditors cannot account: The government knows that $25 billion was spent by someone, somewhere, on something, but auditors do not know who spent it, where it was spent, or on what it was spent. Blaming these unreconciled transactions on the failure of federal agencies to report their expenditures adequately, the Treasury report concludes that locating the money is “a priority.” The unreconciled $25 billion could have funded the entire Department of Justice for an entire year.** *

Do you know how much good $25 billion dollars could do? It would only cost $20 billion to get safe drinking water to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD! But that money is gone. Government can’t account for it. Why should anyone want to give them more money? You should be outraged. Everyone should be outraged.

Here is another reason I am so outraged. Obama and Biden are making it seem like the wealthy are stepping on the little guy. Like the wealthy just don't pay enough to help, so don't you think if they wanted to help the poor so much, they would be big charity donors? Before Obama ran for Senate, he gave less than 1% of his money to charity.**** Joe Biden gave less than 0.35%.***** So maybe his motives are questionable.

So here's what I want, no more income taxes for anyone. I will gladly give my money to a charity that will do 10x the good the government could do with it. If you are interested, please check out FairTax.org. This tax would eliminate all corporate and income taxes and put a larger sales tax in place. It would require all people who get paid illegally or under the table to contribute to the general fund. If your a drug dealer, you pay in. If your an illegal alien, you pay in. If you have more money and buy more stuff, you pay in more. It would also help more jobs come to America because we would no longer have the second highest corporate tax rate in the world. It's good for everyone except the politicians because they will lose a lot of their power. Just take a look.

*http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/20763/

**http://usgovinfo.about.com/od/incometaxandtheirs/a/taxburden06.htm

***http://www.heritage.org/research/budget/bg1840.cfm

****http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2008/03/obama-releases.html

*****http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2008/09/biden-releases.html

So I Need Some Fashion Advice

I am one of those people who wear the same clothes for years, I mean YEARS, like from high school. I never buy new clothes unless they are on the clearance rack and I need it for some occasion. I am that woman you see in Target with three kids, wearing an Abercrombie shirt from ten years ago. Pathetic huh?

I am also one of those people who LOVE a great deal. I feel like I save money when I get something, 50%, 75%, heaven help me, 90% off. Its a serious problem. I actually used to work for Target as a clearance marker. I must have spent most of my paycheck there getting an "Awesome Deal!".

So, I am back in my skinny jeans not counting the muffin top and I found some great stuff online at Tracy Porter. Great like, more than 75% off. But, I am feeling a little guilty. We really don't have the extra funds to be spending on non-essentials and Mr B says green is not my color. But he said if I really wanted them, it was ok with him AND I had a 10% off coupon.

So I ask:

1. Are these too young for me?

2. Are they cute or am I delusional?

3. Do you think they still cost too much?

Opera Jacket

Was:$250

I Paid: $24.30

Mossy Sweater

Was: $180

I Paid: $22.50

Playing Catchup

Updated:

Sorry it's been so long. Thanks for those who sent emails seeing if I was ok. I am. We are. All's good.

Valentine's Day was a good day. We (me and the kids) made Mr B a poster that declares, "We love Papa". We colored it and stuck on some Styrofoam hearts. I printed off a bunch of pictures of the kids (including the baby) and we had a good time framing those in hearts and putting them on the poster board.

Mr B bought me three roses for each of the kids, a sweet card, and some chocolate. Oh, and a stuffed monkey that says "I'm your primate". He knows me too well.

On Saturday we were supposed to be going down to see my brother wrestle at state, but he lost on Friday, therefore didn't make it on Saturday. We opted not to go, since we would have all three kids and its a three hour drive. Instead, we hung out at the house and had breakfast. It was nice to be together and just veg. At one point I was down stairs reading through my Bible and Mr B called me upstairs. He had a slow song playing and he asked me to dance. We slowly moved in circles to the rhythm of the song, our breaths in sync. I then felt a wet tear on my skin and looked up. He had tears streaming down his face. -Note that usually when the sobs come, there is something he is feeling very guilty about- I cautiously asked him what's wrong. "I just don't deserve you". Was his reply. It was a sweet moment and my love deepened for him.

I did ask him later if there was anything he needed to tell me and he reassured me there wasn't. I like not having secrets between us. I like him knowing where I am (spiritually and mentally) and I like to be with him.

We also took the kids to the local outlet mall to let them play in the kids area. They had a great time. Belle wanted to go on the carousel so bad, so we ended up taking her and it was all she could talk about. I wish I could take them everyday. Even Raef came out of his shell a bit. Even Marcus had a good time!

Raef is now sleeping in a toddler big boy bed and Marcus has moved out of our room into the crib. Raef loves it so much, but I swear every other night when I go in because Marcus is crying, I nearly step on Raef who has fallen out of bed and just ends up sleeping on the floor all night. He is such a heavy sleeper; I wonder if he just slides onto the floor and doesn't even wake up.

I have gone on a strict diet and I think that is helping me keep things in control. Now that I can control this, it is easier to take on other things (like the house). I am working on getting this place together. It seems like a mad house and I would like to walk around here without clutter. Maybe I will jump on Heidi's bandwagon and get to cleanin'.

Hope you all are well. I am really behind in my blog circle. I have been obsessed lately with (*ahem) debating politics on Craigs List. It's like I get to talk to adults during the day. Every now and then I need to be pulled out of the spit-up, whining pit I find myself in.

The kids are great. Raef's birthday is on the 8th and we are throwing him a football themed birthday party. Luckily I found a lot of football decorations after the Superbowl and he LOVES football. Noticed?

Well, I must go. Kisses to you all and thanks for the prayers. They were a miracle last week.

Clarity

I want you all to know that I have forgiven the other. Maybe sometimes it doesn't seem like I have, but I did forgive her a long time ago. It doesn't mean that it still doesn't hurt and it doesn't mean that I want to be her best friend, it just means that I have relinquished her from the wrath of my heart.

I pray for the other every night. I pray for her boys and her family. I wish no ill towards her. This all being said, when she does present herself as a threat to my family (child abuse allegations, flirting with my husband, etc) I do stand up to protect. I don't believe God wants us to cower towards evil or evil promoted deeds. The second woman who cheated with Mr B and they actually had a relationship (instead of a one night stand like the other) I harbor no ill feelings. Even though she told me the day I found out that "You obviously can't fulfill his needs like I do" and such horrible things, I have been given the time and the space to completely heal from that. With the other, its not the same.

So my goal now is to not only heal from the pain, but to love her and love her like Jesus does. It's a tall order and will most likely take some time, but it is my end goal.

Out of this whole situation, I have learned tremendous compassion. Compassion for others who even though they may have put themselves in bad situations, if they are trying to claw their way out, my respect is immense for them. It used to be that I felt they were getting what they deserved, the consequences to their actions, but now I see the amount of strength it takes to grow out of a painful circumstance.

I hope you all see in me that even though I have hard days, even though I am not always perfect, I am striving to be the person God wants and will be proud of.

I come to my blog many times in a pit of despair to get the pain off my heart and say things to my friends that I can not say to my husband due to the hurt it might cause. The encouraging words do wonders for me and I hope you will still comment and give me feedback.

You all are a great pillar of support and I hope I helped to clarify where I am. Thanks for coming along on my struggle with me.

She Strikes Again

So this weekend was full of strife and anger...let me start out at the beginning.

Friday - The Other and Mr B agreed in the court documents that on even filing years, she would get to claim the baby and on odd claiming years, Mr B would get to claim the baby. If for any reason, the credit could not be used, it would go to the other. Well, the other lives at home with her father and from court documents I can see that she claims 98 on her W2 as to not have to pay taxes. So I told Mr B to ask her for the credit since I don't even think she will file and if she does, the credit won't even help...let me also say that she does have an older son (2 I think) and she gets that credit too as she hasn't gone after that father for child support. Well, she won't let him have it. We suspect her father will be claiming all three of them which is against the court order, but how can we prove it?

Later that day when I go to get the mail, we get a letter from the Kansas Department of Revenue stating they will be taking back child support out of our refund. Now let me say that dead beat dads should have money taken from them, but Mr B couldn't even get a hold of her. She wouldn't let him see the baby and Mr B and I did offer any support and told her to call whenever she needed something. When he was first born, she would set up a time for us to see him and then just not show up. After about six weeks, she just stopped taking Mr B's calls. So in July (the day before I gave birth) we got a letter saying she was going after child support and wanted back child support. We pay an extra $50 a month to pay down that debt, but she wants it all now.

Saturday...we have him for the day and she is supposed to pick him up by 5. Mr B texts the other and asks if we can keep him for just a little longer. She says that's fine. Mr B and I have plans to have dinner later that evening, 7.30ish, and when Mr B texts her back later, no reply. He calls her, no answer. 9.00 - No answer. 10.00 - No answer. She just doesn't come to get him. Last time Mr B and I had a date, she did the same thing. She finally called from a club at 1 AM and left a message. She came and picked him up at noon the next day.

So I asked Mr B what her problem was and he said that she just doesn't like me. Why? It's not like I slept with her husband. He says that whenever he is around, she starts acting all giggly...kind of flirty. So I have decided, he sees her no more without me. The hurt has gone and the anger has taken its place. No way will she come between us again. I am actually thinking of sitting down and talking to her. Telling her that we need to be adults for this baby and any fantasies of hers needs to stop.

Sunday...at church pastor talked about love. How love heals. How sometimes we don't love because it makes us vulnerable. Love is God and we must love others. That the other is completely loved by God and so I should love her too. Wow...that was tough stuff. Mr B and I were talking about it afterwards and I just told him that I need to marinate in the whole idea for a while. How do I love her? I can say I do all day long, but I don't. I know it. I wouldn't lie down my life for her...I would probably push her in front of the bus...ok, maybe not...maybe. So if you don't mind, I may post some stuff about it as I go along.

Sorry its taken so long for me to post. Its been busy and I am a bit of a mess...to tell you the truth, on Saturday, I asked Chris for a little white pill. But, when it came time, I didn't' take it. I know I am stronger than I think.